How do you tell your heart
"don't touch that it will burn you"
that glowing happy place
you thought was long gone
your friend
with the wonderful mind
and damaged soul
with a touch that
awakens fire in you
who you want to have
wrap you in his arms
and never let go
who held you
and showed you
color and joy again
kissed you, touched you
and awakened pleasure
in your body once again
who looked deep in your eyes
and saw worth
how do you scare off
the fear
a deep pressure
in your visceral gut
warning you that he will run
run away from you
and your love
and your heart
that gives too freely of itself
from your arms
tha
climbing the walls
of your heart
only to slip
on a misunderstanding
and plummet
to the cold stone below
splintering into shards of agony
blilliant spikes piercing
blinding, making me hide
in the cool soothing shadows
of your fortress
basking in the darkness
safe and secure in emptiness
gazing at the solid wall
and knowing defeat.
You sit
trying to catch the ideas
flitting through your mind
like fleeting shadows
or tormenting demons
teasing
and then pulling back
into darkness
leaving you straining
trying to see what insight
just flashed across your mindscreen
like the sparkle of a rainbow
seen when not trying to be
and the harder you look
the fainter it becomes
taunting in the knowledge
that is IS there
They play tag with your mind
reveling in their speed
and your slowless
a gleam glanced
quicksilver
in your poet's eye
you reach out to catch them
bind them in ink on your paper
but it is like trying to catch
the breezes whisper
or a silvery t
The crazy old man lay in his bed and wondered what was wrong.
He knew he should be quite dead but knew quite well he wasn't.
The song was new but the tune was old.
Mankind was alone.
The dog wanted his bone and the girl to go home.
The light in the sky was not of nature's making.
It glowed and pulsed with a newness quite amazing.
The smell of fresh bread wafted across the playing field as we played our games of
heartlessness.
All was well with death around and we knew not what was up.
Cars screaming down the freeway, dodging ghostly shadows.
Hitting living, breathing things instead of moving over.
Bells and whistles filled the ai
I wish I could share
the pictures in my head
give them shape and color
for others to behold
but alas
my mind's bright vista
is locked inside
my mind can see
with awesome clarity
but my hands are blind
all that is left to me
is to try to convey
images with words
letters
always the same shapes
just different combinations
words that will convey emotion,
texture, smell
bring a vivid picture that
hopefully resembles what I see
and if I am lucky
I can paint the words right
My muse is toying with me again. Throwing out little snippets with wicked glee. She is a lazy muse methinks. Loves to toss out half-hearted Ideas, maybe a good paragraph or two. But she grows bored too easily and soon wanders off.
Daily I poke at her. Got anything today? And sometimes, out will spew, in a glorious moment, a shining morsel, a flash in the pan. And then, like a melting snowflake, suddenly gone. Leaving me with a quickly fading thought, the merest faint scent disapearing on the wind, which I scrabble vainly to scribble down before it is gone.
Your eyes chase my waking dreams
such a wealth of emotion,
locked inside those deapths
blue like the dark, sinking deep
so many words unspoken
caged by fear
bottled and distilled
behind your teeth and
brimming in those luminous eyes
Rivers of sweat stinging my already burning eyes.
Fingers cramping. Brain aching.
How long? How many pages?
Sheets filled with beautiful pieces,
Fragments of poignant thoughts, pictures, ideas.
Stomach pinched.
Have I eaten aught but these hollow words?
Cold, seeping into my marrow.
When did I last sleep?
Throat sticking for want of moisture.
Muscles screaming for release, quivering.
Eyes glassy.
Still I go on.
Scribbling, ranting.
Unable to finish any thought that is started,
Before a new one sears through my brain.
Soft, gentle dispair.
Will it ever end?
Or will they find my dessicated corpse,
Hunched over the table, p
Bright eyes staring
at the shadows play
chubby hands waving hello
trying to catch the sun's sparkle
little one learning his world.
coos of delight and wonder
feet kicking in absent content
What's this?
little fingers pick and pluck
grab and pinch
He catches the bouncing foot
and guides it towards his mouth
The foot bounces back down
as distraction moves his attention
THIS will go into the slobbering maw
for tasting and testing
I move and catch his eye
and am awarded with a gooey grin
She looks through me
with soul shattering loss
such crystaline blue eyes
made for crying
tears come springing
unbidden to my eyes
sorrow filling me up
as though I the container
made to hold it
but too much, too much
with a whimper
I try to turn away
away from this palatable loss
but I cannot
her eyes hold me fixed
like a needle through a butterfly
more emotion spills from her to me
until I feel as though I might burst my skin
I can hear my friends talking
muted and surrealistic
like an old memory
I want to scream for release
but no sound escapes
my clenched throat
I am lost in her prison of pain
someone touches my sho
Now the vigil over loves corpse is done.
The tears have disapeared
stealth mode, ninja like
suddenly
the emotions that bring them
gone missing
a picture on a milk carton
Yesterday I cared,
worried, hoped, raged
Was saddened, guilty
jealous and vengeful
a veritable rollar coaster
into the unknown
now I stand in a soft grey space
apathy at it's finest.
Would the briney drops come
if I found out you were dead?
Would my throat clench
and stomach flutter
with the fear of you suddenly gone?
But you are gone already.
her arms a warm, happy refuge.
Her sex your physical release.
To suddenly awake
With tears in your heart
And the stale feeling
That you were just next to someone
Limbs entwined,
skin to skin
Their scent a lingering memory
Only to find a wad of blankets
Growing cold in the empty night
Like a wraith,
you haunt my night.
Like a cloud,
you cover my light.
Like darkness,
you steal my sight.
Like shackles,
you drain my fight.
Like death,
you are my flight.
Everything is fine
Everythings ok
how do you like
the personality i picked today?
Is my mask on tight?
Am i safe and secure?
locked behind these doors
so cold and so pure.
Automaton
Doing what i am told
Automaton
With a smile made of gold
you watch me complete Your tasks
all filled with pride
would it make you so happy
to know i am empty inside?
the goals are all meaningless
Accomplishments empty pay
because when you say 'I love you'
you turn your face away
Automaton
my life's not my own
Automaton
the seeds have been sown
Automaton
Doing what i am told
Automaton
With a smile made of gold
An image of a woman dying in a shack. Dust lays thick on everything like a soft blanket, leeching all color. Who knows how long she has sat there. You cannot tell her age, only that it will soon be all over.
skeletal, waxen
clouded eyes
parchment skin
fingers plucking, twitching
breath whispering, hollow
cold, so cold
forgive me
the end will be soon
parched lips pull back
in a rictus smile
arms like sticks clutching
tattered rags
filled with miniture bones
the rocking chair creaks
and a pitiful sound emerges from the form
a lullabye
quivering, offkey
forgive me
To suddenly awake
With tears in your heart
And the stale feeling
That you were just next to someone
Limbs entwined,
skin to skin
Their scent a lingering memory
Only to find a wad of blankets
Growing cold in the empty night
Current Residence: Santa Rosa, CA Favourite genre of music: alternative Operating System: Win-DOHs Wallpaper of choice: art Favourite cartoon character: GIR Personal Quote: CONSPIRACY = Cliques Of Normals Secretly Planning Insidious Rituals Aimed at Controlling You
Had my little girl early Monday morning. She was 7lbs 14.4 oz and 21 inches long with a full head of hair. She was also face up like my son. Nothing good comes easy lol.
Her name is Azlea Rain. :) I just can't get enough of the baby smell. If I could bottle it I would be so rich. I swear it is THE most addictive smell in the whole wide world.
She is beautiful and healthy and much quieter then my son. Always be happy about the little blessings haha!
On a side note...how the hell did I get over 1000 views?? O.o I haven't even been lurking for the past few months!! Thanks you guys!
Got my ultrasound today. The lady said its a girl. Of course they can't be 100% sure or rather they can't tell you that but she said she believes its a girl :p. And she is the perfect weight for this stage and has all her necessary bits.
I even got a picture that I might scan in later, although most of the time I can't make out what they are trying to point out today I actually saw the spine and heart and feet and stuff.